Black
Crow, White Crow
My old green Dodge squeaked and
moaned as I made my way, slowly, down the abandoned logging road. The hard
packed white sand had no trouble supporting the heavy sedan as it crept along.
Upon either side of the rutted road towering longleaf pines swayed gently in
the breeze. Enormous pinecones hung heavily beneath sprays of green needles
which sprouted from their rough barked branches. I was miles deep into the old
forest when, blocked by a ditch, I came to the end of the road. Locking the
car, I paused for a moment to take in my surroundings. The silence of the
forest was only disturbed by the creaking and popping of my car as it cooled.
Two hawks circled each other high overhead, silhouetted against the Carolina blue
of a cloudless sky, their effortless flight defying the earth’s gravity and all
that kept me glued to the ground. As if acknowledging my presence, one gave out
a piercing cry. Taking it as a greeting, I could not help but smile.
Slinging my pack over my shoulder I
hopped the ditch in search of a small trail I had either once known or perhaps
had only dreamed about. Either way it didn’t matter. The forest consisted of
ancient pines, some of which were so big my arms went only halfway around them.
Their blackened bark from a long past fire was thick and rough. The space
between the trees gave the forest room to breathe making it feel light and
airy. Its floor was covered with a thick layer of golden-brown pine needles and
was dotted with enormous pinecones the size of a football, as well as the
occasional sapling, struggling to reach the sky.
On a high branch of a dying pine, a
large crow sat perched, watching me. She was the largest crow I had ever seen.
The black of her feathers reflected as a deep indigo blue which shimmered as
she moved in the brilliant sun. Her eyes were as dark as emptiness and seemed
to hold within them a wisdom that comes from knowing. She cocked her head from
one side to the other as if studying me before allowing me to continue. We
examined one another for some time. I finally greeted her by saying aloud,
“Hello crow friend”. She dramatically bobbed her head up and down several times
and let out a low and long, “craawk” before gliding into the forest. I walked
in the direction the crow had flown and soon found the trail I was looking for.
Having left the sound of my car and
the world behind, I gradually became attuned to the song of the forest. The rhythm of the hike and calm of
nature began to sooth my troubled spirit. What I had originally taken
for silence and stillness turned out to be a forest full life and sound. A
woodpecker tapping out its rhythm, the peeps of cardinals and cries of blue
jays lifted my heart as well as my spirits. Like incense for meditation, the delicious scent of pine
filled the air and helped to bring me to a place of inner peace. The incessant
dialogue in my head, bills to pay, repairs to make on the house, and the
endless list of things which demanded my attention, melted away.
The
quieter my mind became the more my heart opened to this magnificent place. My
pace became that of a walking meditation, each step a conscious act of
awareness. The feel of dry pine needles crunching softly beneath my boots, the
cool air against my skin, the warmth of the sun on my face, the color of the
sky and the sounds of the forest, each experienced individually and yet
simultaneously. Occasionally,
I would catch a glimpse of a white tail popping up as a startled deer bounded
off. Squirrels scurrying from tree to tree would pause to watch and chatter as
I passed by. Leaving the things of man behind, I became completely immersed in
the natural world.
How far and how long I had been
hiking, I am not sure, before I began to sense a powerful shift in my
awareness. It felt as if I had crossed through an inner portal to some higher
perception. Time and distance no longer mattered. My consciousness, more attuned
to the moment, touched lightly upon the world around me. I began to catch
glimpses of an effervescent glow emitting from an unseen source through the
trees. It appeared as rays from a setting sun filtering through a fall canopy
of crimson red and sunrise orange leaves in a mountain forest. The ancient
pines appeared to become even more massive. They were spectacular! No longer on
a path, I joyfully wove my way towards the source of that wondrous glow. It was
mesmerizing, drawing me ever forward.
Abruptly the forest ended. I found
myself at the edge of a large meadow filled with wildflowers sprouting from
golden green stems. It was the meadow itself and the life within it that shown
with that wonderful glow which I had been drawing me forward. The flowers were
of every color, shape and variety imaginable - multicolored cosmos, white
yarrow, bluebells, Black-eyed Susan, poppies, and daisies were just of few of
what I could identify. The song of bees and small birds filled the air as they
busied themselves flitting in and around on their quest.
The meadow rose gently creating a
large hillock at its center which was crowned with an ancient oak. It was the
most amazing tree I had ever seen. Its massive lower branches reached out
touching the ground as if they were supporting the giant canopy towering high
overhead. It was so tall it appeared to be painting the sky into existence as
its brush-like upper branches swayed in the breeze. Awestruck, I stood silently
smiling at the marvelous scene before me.
I waded my way through the
wildflowers towards the tree, pausing to watch the orange monarchs, blue
swallowtails and yellow cloudless sulfurs flitting about. These beautiful
butterflies, some only the size of your toe while others were as big as your
hand, flew in joyous abandon. Alighting on flowers or my outstretched hand,
many came and orbited about me and each other before heading off on their way.
They were more like fairies from a long-forgotten childhood tale come to
welcome me. The euphoria I felt and the shift in my awareness was profound.
Reaching the outer edge of the tree
I found it to be surrounded by golden grass. It was soft and inviting. A
soothing energy radiated from the tree, melding with the blue of the sky, and
the beauty of the meadow, I was in ecstasy. I laid my pack on the ground and
with it the last of my earthly burdens. I slowly took off my clothes, and with
each article of clothing, shirt, shoes, socks, I stripped away my long-held
attachments, biases and beliefs which had been blinding me to my true nature.
Finally, my skin exposed to the
world, I held out my arms to the sun, its cleansing light warming and healing
me. A swarm of butterflies came and circled around me. Each one alighting for a
moment before once again fluttering across the meadow, carrying with it a
negative thought, or feeling I had clung to, transforming it into the beauty of
new life. My body had become translucent with the sheading of my worldly
concerns. The light of life and love filled me to overflowing.
I lay down in the grass to watch a
few clouds drift by and the many branches of the tree swaying gently. I did not
sleep or dream, though my awareness shifted to a vision. The concept of time
had vanished and lifetime upon lifetime passed before me. There was no past.
There was no future. Loss and love, sorrow and joy, anger and calm all mingled
together. The smiling laughter of children and wiping away their sweet tears,
the strength and vigor of life’s prime and the frailty and pain of old age,
welcoming the comfort of death’s arms encompassed me, all in a moment, an
endless sea of lifetimes purified.
My awareness returned to this life.
How long had I experienced the vision? Was it days, weeks, or lifetimes? I did
not know, and it did not matter. The understanding of how we truly exist left
me feeling lighter. My translucent body had begun to gently glow from the
divine I had found within.
I stood silently watching the
intensely orange sun grow larger as it approached the horizon. The meadow had
quieted from its whir of activity. In the distance a solitary eagle,
silhouetted by the sun, soared far overhead, high on an unseen breeze. It was then I noticed that my crow
friend was watching me from the tree. She seemed to beckon me to climb it. The
heavy lower branches were as thick as trees and easy to climb. The silver-grey
bark was smooth and almost soft to the touch. I climbed the tree slowly not
wanting to miss a moment of its splendor. Each hand and foothold appeared when
needed. The higher I ascended, the more my earthly tethers fell away. The crow
ascended with me, encouraging me with its piercing gaze. Her feathers becoming
brighter as we went.
Nearing the top of the tree my body
had become so light that the smallest of branches supported me. I reached the
highest branches just as the sun dipped below the horizon. As a final farewell
to the day a burst of light issued from it, lighting the low clouds that had
gathered with scarlet reds and tangerine orange. I sat there perched on the
highest branches mesmerized by the beauty and wonder of it all.
Swaying in the breeze my
consciousness moved to the rhythm of the sky. The sun, long gone, had been
replaced by a black velvet canvas of sky revealing the brilliance of creation.
Billions of points of light spanning the spectrum of color reached out to me.
Enormous multicolored nebulous gas clouds expanded across the emptiness of
space, the womb for new stars and birthplace of life. Galaxies too numerous to
count, each an awareness greater than I could grasp, wandering comets bringing
tales from beyond the planets, and the moons of countless worlds all moving in
synchronous inspiration revealing the science of God and man’s true nature.
The crow, now completely white, sat
upon my shoulder occasionally nuzzling my neck whispering to me the truth of
the infinite and my part in its creation. I stood upon the highest branch and
held my outstretched arms to space. The crow flew from me, once again leading
the way, it expanded and absorbed the world within it. Understanding, I
followed the crow and flew free of the tree, my body expanding as a cloud
evaporating into the sky, my essence absorbing and being absorbed, I became all
that is.
